Wednesday, April 13, 2011

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

Yes - It's almost time for exams again. In art history I have one April 27th (way too early as lectures started in February) and one May 2nd - I suppose that I, objectively speaking, have it under control, however there's one thing that's bothering me: Here the other day I was made aware of an art program on TV and I thought to myself - I can't stand to watch it. I'm sick of everything that has anything to do with art.

Ideally I should be drawn (pun not intended) to painting more and explore more visual opportunities, to counteract all the dry, complicated curriculum texts on semiotics, post-structuralism, psychoanalytic feminist theory and whatnot - but just looking at a paintbrush and seeing the paintings I've been working on for over a month already (getting nowhere), I feel a budding nausea.

A teacher once told me this kind of insecurity and hopelessness is extremely common and an "occupational hazard". However I don't think I've ever felt so completely drained of confidence in what I do, and I have no desire to leave painting or art practice behind to spend my days in an office writing essays that explore this-and-this as sign or simulacral readings.

So there you have my career crisis, if it can be called that because I don't have a career per se. I suppose I'm in need of some inspiration (and a lot of energy). So if anyone has any interesting art or art history related links to share, I'd appreciate it - comment or this post or on facebook :)